It was late into the night. I could not sleep. But I have no reason to remain awake.  Once again another bout of inexplicable beatification began to pervade me.  When it begins to pervade, my entire body is illuminated with 1000 volt current, which sometimes I could not bear.  This is what is happening to me now.  I could not sustain the power of enlightenment. I think I have overlooked my food.  I have not taken adequate food and timely nutrients during the past few days.  The last good meal I had was with Nalini.  Her thought began to distract my concentration.  When she began to trouble my mind the 1000 volt enlightenment has precipitated. Now, the thought of Nalini began to taunt my mind.  I never wanted this to happen to me.  I always wanted to keep my mind as clear as possible.  It is not possible to keep one’s mind in extreme serenity. I thought I was blessed to have that kind of mind.  Otherwise, I would not have been identified by these great sages to pursue spirituality.  Till today, I do not want to know about what is in store for me at the end of my spiritual journey.  In a way, I am happy that I am able to demonstrate their faith in me.  Now I understood very clearly that when enlightenment begins its pervasion, there should be no second thought.  If the enlightenment is like a candle light, other thoughts are like a powerful breeze and put off the candle light.  Both cannot co-exist.

I was the first one to get up.  After freshening up, I began my practice.  I have done all the bandhas, breathing and stretching exercises. I sat on lotus posture and began to meditate on my kundalini.  Now I am able to take my kundalini with ease up to the heart chakra. I meditated on my heart for quite sometime.  I could feel the aura of my heart chakra expanding like a balloon.  I thought it is not advisable to proceed beyond Maharaj’s instructions.  I got up and went into the ashram.  Maharaj was in deep meditative state.  Guruji was taking his bath.  I went to the backyard to have my bath.

Maharaj was ready to teach me further on kundalini meditation. I was also eager to learn about kundalini thoroughly as its ascension gives frequent bouts of happiness.

“When you expand your heart charka, in many of the cases, Rudra granthi automatically breaks, paving the way for kundalini to ascend easily.  Rudra granthi is the toughest of the three blocks.  If this block is removed, your gateway to liberation is opened.  From this point, it is your practice-karma combine that determines your progress. In case you are not able to break Rudra granthi, do the same breathing exercise discussed to break Vishnu granthi.  In addition to that, you lift your shoulders while inhaling and pull the kundalini from heart chakra to Rudra granthi.  If it does not break after all these attempts, you can rotate your shoulders clock wise. Raise your shoulder when you inhale and lower shoulders when you exhale. Do not attempt to pierce Rudra granthi in one go, by applying too much of pressure.  By persistent practice, you will be able to break this knot. You will know that this knot is broken when you feel the pulsation in your throat chakra or visudhi chakra. The dark green of the heart chakra becomes sky blue and finally becomes dark blue.  This chakra belongs to the vastness of space, the last of the five elements. Your consciousness gets purified here by ether and with this your consciousness is purified by all the five elements.  Your body is being prepared for the union of Shiva and Shakti at the top of your head.  This is what I told you yesterday that both Shiva and Shakti are within you.  When this chakra is fully activated, you can see dots of stars flashing during your meditation.  You become an excellent orator.  You are able to orate about Divinity with ease.  The traces of your selfishness are totally eliminated here. Your anger and hatred vanishes.  The process of detachment from the material life begins here. You are gradually becoming a part of Divine.  I know you can activate your throat chakra with ease, but still, it is about breaking your Rudra granthi, I want you to practice now in my presence.”

I began my practice. Up to heart chakra I reached with ease.  As Maharaj said, I struggled to break Rudra granthi.  I lifted my shoulders during inhalation; even then I could not break.  Maharaj asked me to rotate my shoulders clock wise and pull the kundalini up.  With great difficulty, I could break Rudra granthi.  When it broke the granthi, it hit the top of my head and felt as if someone is nailing at the top of my head. My head was spinning.  Before I could realize what is happening, Maharaj brought me to normalcy by controlling my kundalini.  I now understood why Maharaj frequently says that I should practice in his presence initially.  Had he allowed me to practice independently today, my skull could have been broken!  Instead of breaking my Rudra granthi, I would have ended up in breaking my skull!

“Now you can understand the need of a guru while learning kundalini meditation.  Learning kundalini in groups is not possible.  Every disciple should receive direct attention from the master and guru should be able to observe the movement of kundalini in his disciple’s body. Once you are able to pierce your Rudra granthi, major part of your spiritual journey is over.  The next chakra is ajna chakra, which is known as the third eye or the mystical eye.  Ajna means command.  Your guru’s command is received here.  Ajna chakra of two persons can be connected through cosmos and proper communication can be established.  Ajna chakra is the seat of your mind. When ajna is fully activated, you have complete control over your mind. From here, I can communicate with Baba at Haridwar.  Distance is not the criteria, as cosmos is unfathomable.  Intercontinental healing can be done through ajna chakra.  But you need to have a solid practice to attempt all this. You begin to realize the radiance of your soul here.

“The blue colour of the throat chakra gradually transforms into indigo. Kundalini does not travel directly from throat chakra to ajna chakra. It bends at the two shoulders and traverses behind the earlobes, joins half an inch above the meeting point of the eye brows, enters into the centre of nasal cavity and again ascends towards the top of the head. Apart from the two nerves proceeding to the ajna chakra through the shoulders, there is yet another nerve proceeding directly to ajna chakra from the throat chakra.  All these three nerves join at ajna chakra, thereby making the ajna chakra very powerful. 

“Your third eye chakra is a very powerful tool available to you to control your mind during meditation. In fact, it is a Divine gift for humanity. Concentrate on your third eye chakra and begin to look deep within.  Your pineal gland lies behind the central point of your eye brows, deep inside the brain. This is known as the third eye or the metaphysical eye.  It is also believed that the soul is seated here and hence it is known as the seat of the soul.  This may appear in contravention of the theory that soul lies in a cave in the heart chakra, but seat of the soul is deep behind the third eye is very close to scientific proof.

“Pineal gland can be activated by light energy.  When you focus your consciousness towards the pineal gland, it gets activated by the energy. It secretes melanin during sleep and during deep meditative stages. Melanin controls the aging process.  Pineal gland works in coordination with hypothalamus, a nervous organ located at the base of the brain. Together they control biorhythms and physiological needs of the body. When your quality of meditation improves, you will be able to connect your consciousness to higher frequencies.  This happens due to the awakening of your pineal gland.  The pineal gland is awakened not only by focusing your inner energy on your third eye, but also by drawal of cosmic energy through your crown chakra and medulla oblongata, the back head chakra.

“Apart from pineal gland, pituitary is another gland that helps you in reaching a higher level of consciousness.  Proper concentration on your third eye during your meditation establishes a well balanced relationship between your soul, pineal gland and pituitary gland.  If this connection is well established, your soul within begins to illuminate.  This illumination happens due to the power of kundalini, drawal of cosmic energy from the cosmos through your crown and back head chakras and internal energy produced while concentrating on your third eye.

“When all these factors work in an integrated manner, your ego is almost dissolved and the level of your consciousness becomes purer. This leads to a positive situation where you gradually lose your identity with your organs of perception and action; and faculties of cognition and action.  When your sensory organs are muted, your mind does not receive any materialistic inputs. Already your ego is almost dissolved.  What remains are your mind, intellect and consciousness.  Mind is a necessity as realisation of the Self takes place only through the mind. Mind is now not in a position to get afflicted, as you have plugged the sensory inputs to the mind.  However, you continue to perform your normal activities like walking, eating and sleeping. You have almost dissolved your ego, an evolvement from your intellect. Now your mind is not concerned with your actions, as you do not have attachment to any of your pursuits. Your mind has now turned serene.  Intellect is required, as  it is the medium through which your soul and consciousness are connected.

“The transformation that happens in ajna chakra varies from person to person.  But, when your ajna chakra is activated fully without any blocks, door for your liberation has been opened up for you.  At this point, you have reached the penultimate stage of your spiritual goal.  Your body begins to emanate a sort of divine fragrance.  But you need to spend a lot of time in this chakra. You have to be in this chakra till you are able to notice flashes of light.  If you look at the sun for a few seconds and then close your eyes, you are able to see the light of the sun, though it will vanish in the next minute or so.  But the light in your ajna chakra will always remain there.  Now you are able to have the glimpses of your illuminating soul.  You must remember that Shiva shines within you as your soul and it is only Shakti, who pervades your mind in the form of ignorance.  When Shakti decides that you are fit enough to realize Shiva, She takes you personally to Shiva.  Unless Shakti takes you to Shiva, you cannot go anywhere near Shiva. 

“If you have any problem in activating your ajna chakra, you can use two methods. One is to fix your consciousness on ajna chakra and bite your upper and lower jaws tightly.  While doing so, apply pressure on the side of your jaws.  You will feel the tightness in your jaws.  Remain in this state as frequently as possible.  The second method is to focus both your eye balls on ajna chakra, by slightly raising them.  This is risky and you should not stay in this state for more than a minute in the beginning stages and you should never apply any pressure on your eye balls.  If you apply pressure or stay in this posture for long, you could end up in damaging your retinal nerves. Now let me see how you are activating your ajna chakra” Maharaj concluded a long and interesting lecture on the third eye.  I now understand that my training under Maharaj should get over in another few days. 

As I had already broken my Rudra granthi, I did not face any problems.  I could reach ajna chakra all the way from the base chakra.  This took about ten minutes.  I reached the next higher chakra only after fully activating the previous chakra. I did not want to climb the staircase two or three steps at a time.  I would like to climb the stairs one step at a time and comfortably reach the next floor with ease.  I do not want to get hurt by jumping many steps at a time. The time for fully activating each chakra depends upon our practice and concentration.  When I reached my ajna chakra, both the eyeballs automatically began to focus on the central point of ajna chakra.  After sometime, the focus of the eye balls automatically began to move upwards causing deep penetration into my skull.  Every time the eye balls moved up, deliberately I moved down my focus and get it fixed on my pineal gland.  When I began to look within, focusing on the pineal gland, I began to feel the pulsation in the back of my head.  Focusing on the back head was giving me a lot of pleasure.  I do not know how long I was there in that state.  At one point of time, my neck portion became tensed and my temples began to ache.  I mentally sought permission from Maharaj to bring my kundalini back.  For the first time I got heartfelt appreciation from Maharaj. But it did not make me either happy or sad.  Had he not appreciated, I would have been in the same position.  I got Maharaj’s permission to go and have my bath in the Ganges.  After drinking two cups of water, I walked towards the town.

 I took bath and as usual, Mother Ganges infused further energy into me.  I went to the temple nearby and after having darshan of Lord Shiva, I took the hot prasad that was being distributed for free.  I was hungry and finished the prasad in no time.  Probably the man who was distributing the prasad could have watched me finishing the prasad in no time, he came running through the steps and offered me one more plate of prasad.  I looked at him.  Unmindful of my age he folded both his hands before me, stood less than a minute and left to serve the crowd. Somehow, he understood my hunger and after finishing the bonus prasad, I began to walk back.  At that time, the thought of Nalini came to my mind, which I have forgotten all this time.  Her house was very close by. I wanted to meet her.  But I decided against that as I did not have the permission from Maharaj.  I walked back to the ashram.  On the way, someone called me and gave a bag containing banana and mango fruits to be given to Maharaj.  I took it and reached the ashram.  Maharaj opened the bag and took a banana and gave the bag to guruji.  Guruji also took one banana and gave the bag to me.  As I was full, I did not take any fruits from the bag and kept it aside.  Maharj asked me why I am not eating the fruits.  I told him about the parasad.  From the looks, I could understand that he did not approve what I had done. 

“Had you told me that you are hungry, I would have sent you to Nalini’s place for lunch” Maharaj made an admonishing statement. 

“When you reach a particular state in spirituality, you should follow certain principles.  In the first place, you should never eat food outside.  You have only few choices.  You can take food cooked by your mother, your wife and cooked at your guru’s place.  You can cook yourself and eat or you can eat food cooked by your co disciples or from anybody approved by your guru.  In all other places you should not take food.  There is a concept of karma involved here. You can eat fruits and water from anywhere.  Similarly, you should not take food that was stored more than six hours.  Whether it is spoilt or not does not matter.  The ideal thing would be to have stock of fruits” said Maharaj.   

I felt a little bad.  I thought that it was God’s prasad and hence I had taken.  I was ashamed of my act.  I stood like a rock before Maharaj.  Maharaj can easily read the mind of others.  He consoled me.  He told me that it is not his chide but advise. He asked me to sit by his side.

(to be continued)